Setting: Outside on the lawn
Summary: The girls talk about Joey and James and each's fears and insecurities with relationships. In their talk, they reassure each other somewhat.
Lily sat under a tree, textbooks open around her and quill stuck behind her ear. Rolls of notes were randomly spread out around her and she looked as if she were deeply concentrating upon the homework she had. But in all truth, it was something else that she couldn't get her mind off of. She couldn't think of the homework at all. She knew that would turn out to be disastarous, seeing as she had literally mounds of it to finish, but she couldn't get her mind on task lately.
Lorraine walked up and smiled down on her friend, "Hey, trying to study but failing miserably I gather? Mind if I join you?" She wasn't trying to pry too much she could read Lily mind but could tell just by looking at her. Not everyone could read Lily like that but Lorraine could seeing how they were pretty close friends. Lorraine could also see the signs a little because she was being distracted a bit with Joey herself.
Lily smiled up at her friend, still after so long finding it a wonder that someone could read her so easily. "Sure thing. I guess someone better save me before I waste all afternoon on achieving nothing," she said, and cleared a spot for Lorraine.
Lorraine smiled, "Well then if I can save you, you might be able to save me." She gave a small laugh as she sat down beside her. Lorraine herself felt she needed saving as well, Joey was a distraction she wanted but in the same moment didn't want because when she need to study she couldn't because her thoughts were on him. She felt so much for him it was so new to her and strange at the same time. Lorraine picked up a paper, "Studying can be rough when involving a guy.. I should know. So still thinking about that date."
Lily laughed, albeit a bit nervously. "Yeah...it's been on my mind ever since he asked me..." she said. "And I can't tell how I feel about it. At one moment I'll be totally excited and happy and the next I'll be freaking out and not knowing what to do with myself." She sighed. "Boy business is so complicated...now I know why I never tried to get involved in it before."
Lorraine laughed softly, "Yeah I know how you feel... Joey and everything we do... did I tell you I fell asleep in his arms in his bed not to long ago..." She couldn't remember if she had told Lily or not it wasn't something she would broadcast to everyone. She ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head, "Yeah I was trying not to get in a relationship and what happens I land smack into one and I feel like flying. Joey... is something else I feel like I'm falling as well... and it scares me."
Lily might have possibly been a little jealous at how Lorraine described her boyfriend. Even though she had only been in a relationship for so long, she spoke as if she were completely experienced...that experience was something Lily lacked severely. She didn't know what she was doing or what to do, more precisely. And she wanted to feel what her friend felt, so badly. What if it didn't work out with James? She said the falling in love scared her, but for Lily, it was the not doing so that frightened her the most. "I don't think you should be scared," Lily told Lorraine. "If it feels like that, it must be right."
"I don't know I mean he is like my first boyfriend first REAL relationship the other boys I sorta were saying I never let them get so close… what if this isn't the real thing?" Lorraine sighed heavily and looked at Lily, "I am so new to this I don't know… I just don't want to be hurt like Marissa, her husband leaving her pregnant and alone."
Lily shook her head. "You're new to this? I've never had a boyfriend in my life," she said with a bit of a forced laugh. "And I wouldn't worry about that. From what I've heard, Joey is a very nice guy and, you know, most men aren't like your brother-in-law. I truly doubt that Joey would hurt you intentionally."
"I don't know if you would call my past encounters boyfriends more like boys I was trying to see, but never let them get close... and were nothing to be desired." Lorraine sighed, "Joey is the first guy besides Sirius that I ever let get close or trust even. And you know how hard it is for me to trust I am letting myself trust him." Lorraine looked at Lily and sighed, "I don't think he would but what if he does, yes James and Sirius both have threaten that if he does they will kick his butt. Well, they told me that I don't know about him."
Lily smiled, reassuringly. "Look, Lorraine. If he's good enough to earn your trust, then I'd say that there's really not much for you to worry about," she said. "And I'm no expert on relationships, but I can share with you my personal philosophy...If you're happy with him, then go for it and enjoy it to it's fullest without worrying about the future. What happens then, happens. Don't make yourself miserable with doubts now when you could be having so much more fun."
"Your right is just I am scared to be hurt... so very scared." Lorraine sighed, "I am happy with him, and you are right I should just be happy. He makes me so happy, that some times I find myself day dreaming. Lorraine tilted her head at Lily, "Personally, I think you have nothing to worry about with James. He really does care about you more than you know, and you know I think you feel the same way."
Lily blushed at Lorraine's perfectly correct guess at how she felt. "But with James it's different. I've known him for seven years now and all that time, all he's done is annoy me. Then somehow, just recently, it's like he changed in my eyes, became more mature, and I don't know what happened or if it's all an act. I don't want to find out that it is just a facade after he's gotten me to trust him."
"Yes but with Joey I didn't notice him too much all these years... I knew who he was sort of but never really noticed him." Lorraine retorted, "As for my trusting him I don't know I felt I might be able to Sirius talked to me and told me to give Joey a chance." Lorraine smiled and looked at Lily, "Let me tell you something, you know how I pay attention to people and read them for the most part, James has changed he wants to be the guy for you he realized he need to change. It isn't bad either for a guy to want ot change for a girl, it is kind of romantic."
"Yes, but.." Lily bit her lip. "Even though I love how he is now, I feel sort of...guilty...for being the reason he changed. Does that make any sense?" she asked. It didn't make much sense to her... When they were younger, she always told him to change if he wanted to go out with her, but now that he had...she felt bad about it? It was confusing.
Lorraine nodded, "Don't he has changed for the better and I think he would agree." She smiled sweetly and nudged Lily leg with her hand, "You should feel guilty feel privileged that you Lily Evans did what no girl has been able to do, tame the infamous James Potter!"
Lily laughed out at that. "Heaven only knows how," she said with a smirk. "I never even tried to--I had just wanted him to leave me alone!" Despite that, she was oh-so-pleased to have his attention now...Young attraction, funny thing, that.
"I know you weren't but it happened and you should be happy." Lorraine smiled, "I am slightly jealous... not that I want James... but you get what I mean. I suppose I did make Joey change... did you know I am like the first girl he was officially seeing?" Lorraine shook her head, "As for you don't be discouraged, he really cares about you, and I don't think he would hurt you intentionally either."
"I know he wouldn't hurt me intentionally," Lily said, truly confident in that, "But it's the unintentional part I'm worried about... Even now, he's not always totally mature, you have to admit."
"But would you really want him to be completely mature?" Lorraine looked at her with this be honest look, "Seriously would you really want him to be hundred percent mature?"
Lily laughed. "No, I guess I wouldn't. It's part of his charm, that immaturity is..." Suddenly, she shut up, realizing she was in an open area. "Ugh, I hope no one heard that..."
"I am sure they didn't and if they tell him you can always deny." Lorraine smiled. "Seriously Lily it is part of his charm I agree."
"Sssh!" she hushed her in a playful manner. "Honestly...it's embarrassing!" She didn't know why she was embarrassed, exactly...it was just part of the way he made her feel, she supposed. Trying to change the subject, she stretched out a bit. "So, how much homework have you got this weekend?"
Lorraine laughed softly, "Probably about the same amount as you... I just distracted sometimes… like today." She nodded, "Tell me something, what makes you so embarrassed... you shouldn't be."
Lily had hoped that she wouldn't change the subject back, but now she felt as if she were entitled to answer the question. "I don't know," she replied stupidly. "I don't understand it myself....I guess it's just...something about the thought of us, together...makes me blush when I start to talk about--well," she whispered, "liking him and all."
"Okay, we'll leave it at that then>" Lorraine stated simply, as she brushed the hair from her face.
"Well," Lily said with a sigh, standing up. "I think I better try to go inside and get some of this work done....but thanks...I think that after talking to you, I might just be able to concentrate a little better." She grinned at her friend and picked up her scattered stuff. "You really help, you know that?"
Lorraine smiled, "I am glad I could help, you helped me a bit yourself and I thank you for that too." She got up as well, "I'll probably join you later."
"Alright, I'll see you, then," Lily bade Lorraine goodbye and headed up to the dorms. Now that she had all her thoughts off her mind, she had a long night ahead of her...